Getting Real With Autism

Family Tree Revelations

Don’t forget to look me up on Instagram, TikTok, and Twitter under “RealAutismSpeak” if you want to follow my daily exploits, for more than what I’m able to put out here–for the time–on this blog! Also on Clouthub, Gab, MAGAbook, Telegram, GETTR, Minds, Truth Social, and Locals as well….might look into Substack too.

Yeah…..as stated last time, I was all prime and set to post this….and then woke up on Sunday, completely beached with one of the worst headaches imaginable; the likes of which I hadn’t experienced since about two weeks before. Incidentally enough, headaches are part of what I’m gonna talk about today, but the type of headache I got hit with left me pretty much unable to do anything at all. Was laying on my bed for hours, napping here and there, eating something here and there, just hoping anything would get rid of it. By the time it went away, I kinda just wanted to relax for the rest of the night, regardless. I stated in this entry that I learned just under two weeks ago how headaches can be symptoms of ascension….and I believe I endured plenty of those over the last two weeks, as well, but I think there’s a difference in the severity. Now today, I’m experiencing gastro-intestinal issues…..after not having eaten that much yesterday; according to the podcasts I’ve been listening to, it wouldn’t necessarily be limited to headaches; ascension symptoms can give you pains in various parts of your body, really. Yes I took Pepto for my gastro issues, so I wouldn’t have to be on the latrine constantly while I go between writing this to bolting downstairs to check on my laundry, etc, but as for painkillers, I now only take them for headaches when they’re…..in that territory, if that makes sense. The ones I take to be ascension-related, I can ride out. That said, let’s get to the topic at hand, due to the person who…..I’m not sure if she could, and no, I’m not saying that to lash out or anything, relax….

I’ve talked about my Mom quite a bit over the years in entries, likely much to the chagrin of my relatives (on her side) if they ever bother reading this blog….and one thing I’ve made sure to emphasize was that she was on enough medications to fill up half a kitchen tabletop. My Mom may as well have had her Dr (yes I knew his name, he became mine at one point, and for the purposes of privacy, I will not state what it was) on speed dial, as she was constantly finding a new problem that she wanted to bring to the Doc’s attention to have cured, as soon as possible; I remember one time my Dad and I were even listening to the answering machine, where the Doc left her a message about her test results having come back in, and you could hear the frustration and exhaustion in his voice; not just because he was a busy doctor in NJ, but because he was getting tired of her coming in for every goddamn little thing. Was her body essentially built the way Maris Crane is described on the TV show Frasier….you know, minus the wealth, plow-ahead and social affluence? Pretty much, and again….low blood count, needing to drink Ensure to keep her strength up, on Coumadin, on medication to keep one of the chambers of her heart beating; I know…..it’s like…the more you add on, the more depressing and hopeless it sounds, right? Like “she was lucky she even made it that far”, right?

Well dear reader, here’s what I keep mulling over as of late…and I keep wondering if maybe it’s not just because of my own journey in the process, but also because we’re just a little over a week away from what would’ve been their 44th Wedding Annniversary: I’ve been thinking that maybe there was a lot more to my Mom’s “medical issues” that for various reasons I’m gonna get into that she didn’t realize the pharmaceutical industry couldn’t help her with, and God was trying to communicate with her to build her up, and there was just a point where he gave up. Journey with me, will you?

Lemme kick this segment off with something semi-unexpected:

so I decided to quickly browse my Facebook feed before starting this entry, and honestly today it’s filled “with the stupid”, so was easy for me to tune out….but one thing that quickly caught my attention was my cousin’s husband posting one of those “first day of Kindergarten for our youngest” photos, with all the mandatory family and friend likes and all that. Incidentally, just a few weeks prior, he’d shared a post stating why he loved Stanley Kubrick so much…and I commented about his being on the Spectrum…..and was of course met with dead silence. Why do I bring this up? Welcome to the experience with Normies. You know…the same people you also see all posting the same pictures of their babies next to numbers formed out of objects to show how many months/years old their babies are, yet again to standing ovation by more Normies who will forget it as soon as they see it and “like” it. “Ok ok, Russell….yer ragging on people non-stop like an asshole; why are you doing that?” Because dear reader, this is the mentality of the crowd my Mom was so desperate to appeal to, and to the surprise of no one, utterly crashed and burned. Did she so much love how everyone congratulated her upon my birth, and got all that sweet, sweet attention for being a new mother? Of fucking course she did…..but then what happens after that? Just like with everyone else who posts that shit, people just move on to the next thing (my own relatives even “liked” the posts that Facebook recirculated of my parents’ wedding album….when it wasn’t even t heir anniversary, and they could’ve just looked at them during that time; but they had to be “reminded” by Facebook). Now, as I understand it, it’s very common in female circles to just “complain” with your friends, not for the sake of accomplishing anything, but to vent, and feel some emotional closeness with them or something (which drives me batshit crazy, regardless of which gender does it), and of course my Mom did do this too……but looking back, I do sense she wanted some genuine relief from it, and that she didn’t fully understand the practice on the same frequency, cause you know….she wasn’t on it.

I hate to quote Al Bundy, but fuck it: “never try to understand women; women understand women, and they hate each other”; there’s apparently a term men–and a lot of Red-Pill channels use in describing female relationships with each other: frenemies. Well, looking back at what happened with my parents and the other couple they were so close to before I was born, because of the fallout between my Mom and the woman–not to mention all the other friends she tried to have after that–I just don’t think she was on that lower wavelength to “understand” it, if that makes sense. I remember my Mom would bring up “unfortunate problems” to people, and I could tell by the expression I clearly remember on her face that she was trying to “participate” in the “vent but not accomplish” ritual so stereotypically associated with females (scream at me all you want; talk to Rollo Tomassi, Darius M, and Richard Cooper, ok?), but…..God wanted her for something much more than that, and part of the reason my parents kept getting put thru the ringer the way they were was a sign from God that they were “pushing constantly on a door that says pull”, and that he wanted them to overcome it, cause they were meant for something better…..at least he knew my Mom was, and I promise you my Dad would’ve been totally gung-ho with going whatever with my Mom figured out to better herself, and the both of them in the process. I know, I know…..the female likes to follow in the male’s lead, but in the case of my parents, the male wasn’t getting sick every five minutes. Besides, they were surrounded by plenty of couples where the wife was doing much better financially than the husband was…..basically carrying the family, so to speak.

Here’s what it comes down to: I believe God wanted her to ascend; find herself, and do amazing things with the abilities she clearly had, but had no self-confidence or self-esteem to pursue. Am I saying my Dad would’ve joined her in it? Maybe as….best as he understood it? It would’ve been more of a case where she was empowering herself, my Dad would’ve encouraged her excitedly, and the family in general would’ve been better off for it. Then unfortunately came the little nugget that was their surrounding environment; one totally comprised of Matrix-plugged-in people, who were neither in any position to support her ascension, nor had any desire, but are subconsciously programmed to tear it down. “So Russell”, you ask “how was she gonna overcome that, huh?!!!!!!!”.

I did it. And I realized it was so bad there, I left the state in part over it.

I realize I’m also a guy, but guess what….there are plenty of other females who have overcome that shit too, and made a name for theirselves in the process. I’m not saying they’ve completely jumped ship from the narrative/matrix, but they at minimum broke free from the lowest depths, and I know of the two of them, my Mom was definitely the smart one. Unfortunately, rather taking every obstacle that came their way as a chance for growth to overcome, she hid behind my Dad while they shrank, and let someone else deal with it; in her case, rather than overpowering every single ache and pain that came her way (at least the ones she was meant to), she kept getting them, running from doing anything, and found herself completely stagnant, and finally…..dead at 54. Mere. Months. From. Their. 25th. Wedding. Anniversary. There was simply a point God said “you know what? I’ve tried for decades to get thru….and I’m not getting thru; their son still has hope though; I have a lot planned for him, but he can’t be held back by this stagnation, if he’s to achieve it”, and he did what he sadly had to do. Her own body said “system shutdown; permanently this time”.

I’d like to mention briefly that one of my Mom’s biggest complaints in life was how my Dad’s parents treated her, when I was first born; like she was incompetent and incapable of raising a child; you may recall how I stated in my initial entries about her being taken that I remember her very well just walking back and forth throughout the house, stimming violently, talking to herself, screaming, feeling sorry for herself about that terrible treatment….for 20. Straight. Fucking. Years. Was anyone really gonna help her, or know who to direct her to? I repeat: matrix environment; they were completely unqualified, but in the very least as I’ve learned you at least have to be able to entertain the thought, and stand by it, whether or not you push people away in the process….and you will push the Normies away. The reason I brought up though about her rage with my Dad’s parents was that I remember asking her “when will you let this go?” Her honest-to-God response was “when they’re dead”. Well, dear reader, guess who God took first?!

That alone was indication to me he wanted to see her grow and ascend on her own terms, no matter how shitty the family was to her, or how scared of standing up to his parents my own Dad was…..and don’t think for five minutes I was afraid to; starting in my mid-late teens, I blasted the shit out of them, and quite often. I was at it with my family quite a lot, in my mid/late teens-early 20s. It was that period I’ve mentioned previously where I found myself very lost in life, feeling completely betrayed by the matrix system, but having no further answers as of yet.

Getting back to my Mom though, I realize now God gave her every imaginable opportunity to overcome her obstacles, and fight, but understanding she likely didn’t know how, wanted support she wasn’t going to get from people who didn’t want to give it to her, saw her loading up on unhealthy pharmaceutical chemicals, matrix food, and propaganda better known as “tv and movies”, and as a result was only gonna drag any necessary future progress down, he finally took that chess piece out.

I do not do this entry, please understand, to attack my Mother at all. I know if any of my relatives do read this, they’re gonna tear me apart for it like they seem to do every other time, since I’m not making everything sound “hunky dory” like the fucking Stepford Wives. I do this entry to lay my case, with a prime example, that God wants to see us grow, harmonize with our abilities, and find our purpose; he wants Normies to do it too….but the Autistic folks; we’re already on that 5D frequency; he has a higher calling for us, but we all signed that soul contract long before we were born; we knew what we were getting into, and we had to endure it to prepare ourselves to be the strongest warriors necessary for his toughest battles to come. You may recall in my last entry, I spoke about our heightened senses, and how they’re designed to pick up more details; yes….all of that is necessary for the tasks God wants us each to accomplish.

Mom…..I really hope up there that things are far more clear to you now than they ever were then, but I hope you’re also enjoying the progress you’re seeing…and I hope Ludwig, Morris, and Grandpa Leon are enjoying it too.

Next time, we’re gonna get to where both this and the previous entry were actually intended to lead smoothly into; I said before that I realized there might be more to my buying up records like mad, and how it fits in with the sensory issues as God designated them for me, and I’m gonna be getting into that…in hopes that perhaps you folks will be able to find similarities in your own lives, on your own terms. See ya soon!

Today’s Planned Installment Will be Delayed

I woke up with a headache that pretty much beached me. Not the smaller variety (that can grow) that I can plow thru, and accept as part of ascension….no the type to just completely take me out of the game while I have it; the type I had to take some meds for, and it’s still there. Haven’t had to do that in almost 2 weeks now. Ah well, it is what it is. I kinda can barely think right now, even, but I’m at least functional enough that I can do some other things, so I’m thankful almost everything else I wanted to do this weekend already got done yesterday.

If the new entry isn’t up Wednesday, it’ll be up sometime next/following week. See you folks soon!

Layers: the Devil in the Details

Before we get into today’s main topic, something happened last night that I think is very much worth s haring with you folks:

I was listening to Phil Godlewski’s latest live podcast, and he was going into detail about some legal trouble he got into some time back, over sexual allegations in the state of PA; he went into…….very heavy detail…..at good hour’s worth of it. Unfortunately, the reception at my job kept crapping out in different areas, so I had to keep refreshing it; it was honestly a pain in the ass, but the good news is I was able to essentially piece it together. Now, do I know for a fact that his testimony was 100% legit? I do not….nor do I have time to go thru the details of the court records to verify anything on file; what I do know however is that–as of recent–several other very prominent names from the Truther/”Tin Foil Hat” community (and as time passes, I assure you, they’re sounding much less like tin-foil hats to almost everyone) were pouncing on him, and attacking him over the public allegations, which according to Phil were entirely designed to smear him, because of his well-known connection with that community. I’ve heard of all of the names he mentioned–Ann Vandersteel, Brian Cates, Jordan Sather, and Dave from X22 Report–but up to this point have only actually listened to two of them (one of them frequently, aside from Phil); Brian Cates I only know of because Dave mentions him a lot, and I think I heard a short portion of one of Jordan Sather’s podcasts, but have never really followed him that closely; I know a buddy of mine does, and hey cool for him. That being said, as those folks in the community bought into the apparent public slander campaign, rather than going to Phil for the actual details, or even thoroughly combing the testimony in the court records (trust me, they have far more time to do all that than I do), Phil publicly announced on his podcast he is suing them into oblivion, and we shall see if this threat becomes a reality or not.

“Ok ok Russell, so a bunch of conspiracy theorists are turning on each other, and one is threatening to sue the others; who the fuck cares, and what does this have to do with Autism????!!!” Very, very simple: if what Phil said on his podcast last night is true, this is how easily even the most researched, informed member of that movement can fall for certain bits of propaganda from The Agenda, and we are all human, after all; as much discernment as we’re told to use, we’re human, and we’ll overlook certain details….and very powerful people have been studying and monitoring that for a very, very, very long time; they know our patterns, and they know how we think, and what we react to. I have consistently brought up that for a community so obsessed with finding the truth, they borderline trip over their own feet buying into the anti-Autism agenda, for fear of not being the narrative version of “normal“, missing every single other connection regarding what would happen to that “normal” if the elements they say they want taken out were indeed taken out; I even did a vlog about it, as I brought up that Charlie Ward was talking to an anti-Autism crusader.

So the bottom line is: if so many of ’em fell that easily for the possibility that the legal system in PA was trying to cover its tracks–after they always openly talk about how corrupt the legal system is and why–do you really expect them at the moment to put the pieces together over why so much seems off regarding the anti-Autism argument? That’s what we’re needed for; and it’s why I really hope you folks stop playing victim and giving them what they want because you want to be “liked” so badly; you’re not….they’re terrified of you. You want to “fall in line”; you can’t. Your brain doesn’t work that way…..and God bless you for it.

Now that we got that out of the way, so something else fun recently happened to me, and it involved an update with Ursula, and that scam Jeanette fell for:

As Ursula works for the State as a social worker, and considered it a priority to look into that scam, in case any of her clients might accidentally fall for it, and yes she did in fact find the scam, so she could alert anyone who either brings it up to her, or in case she hears it amongst her circles; I will give her this: if there is one major positive in her case to being a social butterfly (well it’s about time there’s one), it’s that when your social circles are bigger, the more people you know who know people in need of that assistance, and you can make sure to get this information to them likely much quicker, on a vaster scale…..I’m guessing anyway.

As I was talking to her about it, I sensed a twinge of pity on her end for Jeanette (and this is something even Evan, her husband, has criticized her for)….because she has such a “huge heart”, it usually winds up engulfing the logic portion, and once again has a tendency to fall back in with letting more shit slide by people she really shouldn’t. Honestly, it’s a problem I have with the general populous overall, and I’ve covered it at least three times very early on. Her insecurities on top of that only reinforce that, but it is what it is; I know she means well; Gina actually doesn’t happen to like her very much, citing her as “shallow”…..well to me, who isn’t, once ya dig deep enough?

For me, the issue per se wasn’t specifically that Jeanette fell for it–since people fall for scams all the time (even though I’ve had so many people say to me “I’ve never met anyone who actually fell for that shit!”), it was that I was literally hearing that she fell for a scam like she did 10 years ago, that led to our breakup. Which means likely for the past 10 years, she continues to fall for these scams, not learning a damn thing…and then to top all that off about it, Ursula tried elaborating to her that it was likely a scam, and Jeanette gives her a condescending attitude about it.

You may wonder where I’m even trying to go with this, and what the fuck any of this has to do with Autism, other than basically showing more details of the public being incredibly shitty; well…..the reason I even brought up that last part–and in that detail–is because….that’s how the Autistic mind works, and something the public is not so fond of; the Autistic mind is detail-oriented; one seemingly-minor overlooked detail can often unravel an entire cover story, and that I believe is something that the Normies notice about us, and is another reason they want nothing to do with our asses. I discussed it to a point in this entry here, but was becoming very distracted by my then new-found project working with the “Tin Foil Hats”, and had a harder time focusing. I emphasize that entry to point out that not only is our brain designed to pick up on details, but we have heightened senses to reinforce that design! It’s often why loud sounds, being touched, certain lights or whatever might really bother your senses; those reactions are heightened for us to pick out all the important details necessary, and I’m gonna get into my own personal in an upcoming entry in fact.

The reason Ursula was frustrated by what I said (trust me, it likely wouldn’t be the first time) was because as I went down the list of why she shouldn’t give in to Jeanette yet again (and relax, this is not the first person this has happened with; so I wouldn’t say she’s choosing her over me….again, she does this with every seemingly hard-luck case), it was almost like the case for Jeanette just went from bad to worse. I actually remember decades ago, there was this MAD magazine article where they did a “going from bad to worse” set of instances. One of the panels, for instance, featured some guy in the desert, completely dehydrated, with tattered clothes, and then some guy rides in on a camel, and says “the last name is (something Jewish), correct?”, while you see him fondling a scimitar…..and the guy dying of dehydration has a wide-eyed look of “ohhhh shit” on his face. The point is……I know Ursula has such a huge heart, and emotionally wants to help all of these people–and I credit her for that–and is trying to rationalize making a case even for people who have hurt us several times before because she believes she can get thru…..and then there I go again, blowing every single hole in the argument, based on all the details…cause that’s how my brain works. Jeanette essentially proved once again she has no real desire for self-betterment, just surviving the next 5 minutes; hell, if that scam even worked, she likely would’ve wasted the money on McDonald’s and weed.

Here’s a few further examples, rather than just resting my laurels on that one, and just repeating it over and over again in some bullshit way, to give you more to read for no reason:

So I’m currently trying to find a copy of the soundtrack to the 1987 movie Mannequin on vinyl; I’m….currently buying up records like crazy, and I’m gonna dive more into that soon, based on a recent entry I did about it. One thing I often tend to do is get whatever I can from this store in town called The Exchange, in part because I have a lot of money in store credit with them, and figure might as well use it to load up on whatever they might have that I want, and that music seems to be a commonality for them, see if they have anything I want in their system….and I get plenty of it! So I asked them, and they didn’t have it in their system; it is what it is, and I decided to do some online searches for it. My friends, let me tell you something….

there are some records that are–at this point–next to impossible to get, without spending a small fortune on; I’ve even bit the bullet and spent up to $40 or so on an out-of-print offering; and I don’t mean $40 in store credit with the Exchange, I literally mean shelling out $40 from my pocket for a hard-to-get record….and still getting a deal on it. I’ve even spent up to $20 each for singles. Well…..I did successfully manage to find one copy of the full Mannequin soundtrack, after the Exchange told me they didn’t have it in their system:

From France.

For $100.

On CD.

And yes, that listing is already long sold out. It is that hard to get. Now despite the fact that I successfully managed to navigate getting a damn good deal on 2 of the 3 songs I really wanted from the album from eBay and Etsy listings, one of those three songs has never otherwise been released by itself on vinyl, only in a collection of songs by that artist, on CD, and from my understanding, the quality is terrible. Basically, if I want that song, I gotta find the soundtrack on record, so my search continues; but seriously….read those details, and you’ll understand the difficulty level we’re talking, here.

For another fun example that recently came up–and then I will dive into my final major example on this topic–two weekends ago, one of my favorite contributors in our community who I will once again refer to as NDVR brought up something fascinating about the educational institution–July 23rd, according to Instagram–to be exact; her post went:

“Don’t knock people for not attending university. I can’t even tell you how many NeuroDivergent people have shared with me that they dropped out in or before high school, because of how traumatic it was going through the education system that treated them like they were a problem.

Then there’s the fact that many NeuroDivergent people today were raised by undiagnosed NeuroDivergent parents.

Which creates its own unique version of NeuroDivergent generational trauma.

On top of that trauma, we are more likely to be under or unemployed than NeuroTypicals, so we are statistically more likely to come from, and then continue to live in, poverty.

Meaning many of us do not have the financial means required to attend university, if we want to.

In addition, many of us (myself included) are not “well rounded” in our skill sets.

I excelled at 2-3 subjects per year but had poor marks in everything else.

Which made the path of traditional university unrealistic for me.

My brain is made for specialized tasks.

I tend to be extremely good at what I’m good at… I avoid doing things I am bad at, because I know that I would fail at the them spectacularly.

Teachers didn’t teach me the way I learned, & provided little compassion with my struggles.

This created an avoidance of learning & study in me for many years, because I didn’t believe I was capable of learning (until rediscovering self directed learning as an adult).”.

I responded by stating not to mention what an (intentional) utter scam the the educational institution as a whole actually is…..and got responded to by another one of her followers screaming at me that I was trashing them, because of how hard she worked just to be able to get into college, and all that….again unfortunately, abiding by that victimhood mindset, implying that even if Autistic folks aren’t catered to, the general consensus is right, and we are the problem.

“But Russell, you were talking earlier about how we gotta stop this victimhood stuff; how we’re not the problem, I thought?!” We aren’t, and we do gotta stop it….but my point here is that it’s a lot deeper ingrained than most of you seem to think. That’s why it’s important to use your abilities as God intended you to do, so those who would try to destroy you don’t crush you with the narrative brainwashing that you’ve been conditioned with for over a century now; it’s….a lot deeper than you think it is, and part of the reason the community is having the difficulty in getting the leg-up that it has, and why again….even the “tin foil hats” fall so easily for it….cause so much of our own community does, without even realizing it.

That being said, let’s now get to my final example, shall we? And this one won’t be as painful/uncomfortable to the community to hear:

I was recently chatting with a former classmate who seems to love my posts on Facebook, and has lately had a lot of fascinating bits to contribute as well; I remember some important “current events” happened over the last few years that she seemed to give far more thought to than most of the folks on Facebook did, and I give her a lot of credit for doing so, especially for some of her philosophical leanings that I disagree with….that most of the folks with those leanings, I notice, usually would pay little mind to, not to mention from that geographical location. We were talking about people from school that we still keep in contact with, and I mentioned a few names, as well as people I used to be far more associated with, fallouts that happened, and why. Incidentally, she didn’t even remember some of these people offhand. Granted, she likely has them on Facebook, but these people were simply so devoted to being in the high esteem/recognition of their peers, to not risk any social currency at all, well….it turns out–my friends–that this actually has detrimental long-term impacts!

So…..you’ve made a wish with the Djinn that other people don’t think badly of you, and that you don’t do anything (that they know about)–no matter how petty, small and pointless–to incur their wrath and ridicule on any level, whatsoever? That wish also comes with a price….being nobody remembers your weak-minded ass, at all! Yes folks, this is actually an area where we can thrive that Joe Normie may not always! Oh sure…..people from our class have these folks on Facebook, and like their pictures of spending time with their family and all that regular Normie shit; but you know what? Nothing stands out that they can intellectually gravitate to and invest in. You give their picture a like, say congratulations, and move on while they reminisce about being 18 again.

Here’s where we benefit: you’re damn right my class remembers “that nerdy weirdo, Russell”, so of course they’ll add me; they want to see if I’ll post other crazy, screwy shit, be weird for their entertainment, or something else. You know what? Time is a funny thing though; the priorities you have when you’re in your teens and 20s…..you don’t have by your late 30s/early 40s. Now, many of them are still shallow, and trying to get those likes and attention….but a lot of them are also noticing “that weird kid I knew is saying shit that’s grabbing my attention”, because as time passes, I’ve grown into myself too! I can now far better articulate my thoughts, and–as I’m explaining here–point out the flaws I may see in arguments, ideas, etc; I also won’t bash other people for thinking what they do, as I also understand their perspectives better, and as I want us all to live in peace and harmony, can now understand questions I may have about their perspectives, so we all understand each other better.

See, if you wish for the Djinn to make sure no one remembers you do “that stupid thing”, they won’t remember you for anything at all. It’s those little things that make people stick out, and keep ’em in your memory, for years down the road. When you do cross paths with them again, you’re not gonna care that they did that stupid shit, because doing that stupid shit was kinda par for the course at that age; it’s whether or not anything worthwhile came of it that’s gonna count in the long run. Those who just stick their head down, and did everything imaginable to fit in and be another brick in the wall……well…are exactly that forgettable to everyone else.

If you’re wondering, the person in question ordered some dog tags in the mail that got stolen, I mentioned it to some classmates, and the guy freaked out that I mentioned he likes dog tags, and wanted me to “cover his ass”, so they wouldn’t think poorly of him. I never even said anything because it just seemed so stupid and inconsequential, and 25 years down the road, I was clearly right. The crowd he was popular with he still is, he’s happy with them, good for him.

Bottom line is……as much as Joe Normie’s mind is designed to overlook seemingly unimportant details–as previously stated–to keep the social flow up, and keep everything moving, your mind is designed to very much notice them, in many cases likely changing the entire picture, and opening up a whole new world of understanding for you…..which you can then bring to said Normies, and for they to decide if they want to proceed with your understanding or not. Maybe they will, maybe they won’t….but there’s often something “more” going on, and that’s what you were put here to find out, and proceed with. I can’t tell you what that something is……it’s different for all of us, and a discovery we must all take of our own volition.

Next time, I have a little something to say about my Mom’s journey in life, where I think she had the potential to go with it, and where I believe she fought it, resulting in her end….as it all relates to my stance that she was on the Spectrum, as well. See you soon!

New Entries Planned for This Weekend

I confess I started working on this, and I was in the middle of restarting my phone, as I’m trying to take some new photos of merch for eBay, and email it to myself, and my phone keeps saying “Storage Full”, so I got distracted with that. I know from my last update I said I hoped to have some vlog entries up; I got one up, but honestly this last week has been insanely busy, and I haven’t been able to think that much (and now I have to see why I’m having problems uploading anything to my phone, of course….). The plus side is I did find a way to navigate my headaches better so that was a huge help. Basically, according to many podcasts I listen to, headaches, drowsiness, and other ailments at this time can be attributed to ascension, if you’re experiencing them more often than usual. What I figured to do is this: as I experience a headache, remind myself that it is a part of ascension, and it’s……kinda like “consuming” the headache, if that makes sense. Like…taking painkillers is our way of “running” from the headache; by accepting it’s part of the process, we’re “overpowering” it, so to speak. Sorta like….how when guys’ voices change in our teens, it’s not that our voices “change” so much as we have to learn to use the lower pitch of our voice because the higher pitch won’t work anymore. Once you figure out that method for dealing with those ailments, you feel a stronger sense of control over your process too….you know you’re connecting with Source on a higher level, and are getting better prepared for your “role” moving forward. You could also view “consuming” it as another obstacle in your path taken out…just saying.

So that’s a quick update for you; also Excedrin, and Vick’s Nyquil and Dayquil have also been added to the “List of Things That Cause Autism”; so feel free to add ’em to your Bingo sheet, next to Vaccines, Weather Conditions, Tylenol, Valproic Acid, Heavy Metals, and Fluoride. Getting entertaining, ain’ it?

Talk to you folks soon!

I Seem Like I’ve Been Quiet, No?

So this past weekend, I decided to just give myself a badly needed breather, and on top of that, I needed time to think of more content….but also a funny thing happened, as I had recently nearly run out of my anxiety meds, so decided to see if–now that I’m on a path of ascension–I could start going with smaller doses of that anxiety meds. It seemed to be working ok at first..but I noticed an increase in my headaches, and that they were getting much worse. No biggie, I figured it was likely due to the Schumann Resonance (look it up), and things getting more stressful out in the real world. Well, on Sunday I got completely beached by one of the worst headaches I’ve had in a few years, to the point where I went to bed early over it. A few nights ago, I suddenly decided to try resuming my anxiety meds, and lo and behold it worked. I guess as we’re still in a 3D environment, it’s still gonna give our Autistic-minded bodies problems, so I’ll continue using ’em for now.

I do have at least one new blog entry planned before dropping some heavy-hitters, hopefully within the next few months; that should go up this upcoming week, as well as a few vlogs I hope to have up then too.

I just got back from a meeting at work about Burnout……and well, if my intelligence was gonna be completely insulted for a full hour, at least I got paid for it. Everything the con artist of a speaker was offering to us was just surface-level solutions for everything, and all of my crew members just clapped like trained seals over it. There were times I couldn’t stop laughing at what she said, and even found myself doing deep breathing, and praying to God to help me get thru the experience, it was so embarrassing. I didn’t even want to waste my time speaking up, knowing no one would’ve understood what the hell I was saying, and figuring the commotion would put my job in jeopardy, when I think my job may need me soon; some chess-playing there, if you will; so no, I didn’t even contribute anything, cause I knew I was talking to folks who would have no grasp what I was even saying. It’s funny too….when I was a kid, I used to always hear “shhhh, you’re too looooooud”, and today, no matter how “loud” I am, it’s like they don’t even hear me at all. I attribute this to the different wavelengths. So….as a kid, I’m still on enough of a wavelength that they understand what I’m saying. As an adult, not at all. Fascinating how that works.

So, I’m hoping my upcoming blog entry will elaborate better on some previous ones, with some new-found examples that recently came up. You folks have a fun week, and we’ll chat soon, ‘k? 🙂

The Court of Public Opinion

Before we get into this latest entry, I want to provide a fun little update that I have to thank my coworker for directing me to. Yes folks….we have yet another chemical that causes Autism now!

So to add to the list including vaccines, weather patterns, heavy metals, Tylenol, and Fluoride, we now have valproic acid. I honestly have no clue what it even is, although I did look at the article briefly just to find the name, cause it’s essentially the same template of fear porn at this point to terrify people over the Spectrum, and with whatever substance they can…..kinda like what they did with a certain “pandemic“. Hell, they even used our favorite term “Autism Spectrum disorder“, so you know it was a fair and accurate assessment 😉

Valproic acid, according to the article by Scitechdaily.com, goes by brand names including Depakene, Depakote, Depakote DR, Depakote ER, Stavzor, and Alti-Valproic.

So….now you know…and my friends, totally expect that list to increase–at least for the immediate moment–to terrify as many people as humanly possible. On that note, that semi-leads me into the main topic of today’s entry, which I shit you not, I literally came up with just yesterday….but it’s rather amusing how we get there; check this:

I was originally intending on referencing two 80s music groups for the title, but while I was writing it…..I came up with something better; those groups in question were gonna be Timex Social Club, and Bananarama, if you wanted to know. So…..last week, I got a message from my Godson’s mother that she got hit up by my previous ex, Jeanette…and Jeanette–after all these years–is still falling for the phishing scams she did a decade ago, like the one that took down our relationship. Needless to say, I was thinking a little bit about this for a few days, but I guess I’ve been subconsciously thinking about it, in part due to realizing how much my life has changed since then…..but also because this will be the 10-year anniversary of the collapse of the relationship, this October. Incidentally…..thinking about it–and my newfound perspectives on so many things–inadvertently wound up giving me closure over another aspect of the fallout/breakup, and I’d like to dive a bit more into that now. I wasn’t initially planning on going too much in-depth with the behind-the-scenes drama, but it turns out to be an excellent case study on a much larger scale, so follow me here, will you?

There were several reasons why Jeanette and I didn’t work out, but the very first sign of trouble actually came just a few months after we were together (initial red flags I picked up notwitstanding): I was at work, and my supervisor told me she and her man had been at Cedar Point, and saw her talking to her ex-boyfriend. She even claimed she took a picture, but didn’t have it with her…..and no, this picture was never shown to me, of course. At the time, Jeanette was working at Cedar Point, but the idea that she was openly talking to a guy behind my back that she told me abused her and everything else (and every single Red Pill channel covers this, you have no idea), had me in a tizzy til the end of my shift; when I called her up before I left work, I was even balling my eyes out in front of everyone over it. I even spoke to her Mom before that, and…..looking back all these years later, and even including everything else that would become even more prominent toward the end of our relationship that ended it, one thing above all of these things stood out, and it was a major part of why I refused to end it, and instead kicked a lot of these other people out of my life for a major duration:

Not one person could provide me one single shred of actual evidence. All I kept getting from everyone amounted to little more than hearsay and emotional manipulation; you know the “I feel so bad for you, you deserve better than this, she’s not really that good for you”, and the list goes on. Am I saying Jeanette was honestly providing very good cover stories for her behavior? Fuck no…but without actual evidence, I felt like there was really nothing I could do; I didn’t want to simply break up with her over the “he said/she said/he said/she said/oh you mean he didn’t really say that?” (credit to the Cosby Show for that one) thang…..just a little too petty to me; on top of that, back then I saw my options as horrendously limited. I had really low self esteem and virtually no self-confidence at all. It was just one big clusterfuck, honestly. I finally received worthwhile testimony toward the end of our relationship from her best friend, which I clarified with her, and that’s what officially sunk the ship. I even thanked the guy for providing me with what I needed, and would’ve actually rekindled things with him….had he not utterly blown it, and proved to be as much of a mess himself, and rather quickly in fact.

Well, let’s spring ahead to 10 years later, shall we? In a day and age where I’m focusing on learning far more about myself, have another adult relationship post-Jeanette under my belt, have this blog, and am trying to understand frequencies and vibrations better, and how being Autistic fits into all of it. What if I told you….I believe there’s a very good reason why no one could provide me with one single shred of evidence, and I literally figured this out yesterday, while running errands before work?

The reason for this is…..the 3D frequency is all about hearsay and emotional manipulation, facts be damned. The Court of Public Opinion is where everything lives or dies. If that sounds totally counterproductive to you, and you’re thankful at this moment that legal documents and precedents aren’t actually set up that way, you’re a lot more like me than you realize. Oh, and here’s some proof of the Court of Public Opinion thing for you, and I’ll be nice, and not use “real world” examples for you, but a scene from an episode of Doctor Who:

The 10th Doctor does not like how the Prime Minister handled an invasive force that agreed to leave the planet forever, as she blows their craft up as it departs. He says “six words can end your entire reign”, to which he leans over to one of her guards and says “don’t you think she looks tired?”, and that’s the end of that for her. Literally an emotional suggestion like that ends her tenure completely, once it’s put out to the public. Welcome to the bottom frequencies.

However dear readers……I also came to realize there was something much deeper to my dilemma; at the time, I was under the impression everyone was just working against us, trying to separate us for whatever reason…..and now I know what it was; that’s right folks, I was indeed on to something at the time, but being so unhappy with myself, and not understanding what I’ve come to since then, I didn’t put the pieces together until yesterday. Get ready for this mother:

Yes, most everyone was trying to separate us….but the kicker is not consciously; it was all subconscious. “But why Russell, you’re such a good & deserving guy, and they know you deserve the best!” You know what else they knew? That I come off to the public like a nerdy weirdo. The matrix system is exactly that….a system with unwritten/unspoken rules. Part of that criteria is the nerdy, awkward weirdo does not get a sexually appealing gal……and if he’s “lucky enough” to….she’s not supposed to go after him. As a reminder, Jeanette went after me, not the other way around. Am I saying she was Playboy Playmate material? No, but for her early 20s, she wasn’t bad looking/had a nice body. To the deep insecurities of everyone around us, that’s still too good for me. The only thing genuinely keeping her from being what they preferred over me was her total incompetence/laziness AKA being a “street urchin”, as many Red-Pill channels, refer to it. If she’d just done a little bit better for herself in life (and I don’t mean getting married to a total loser, like she did), I mean having a better public persona, and doing more socially acceptable things, subconsciously they would’ve preferred her over me, at a hat drop.

“But why Russell?! You’re such an amazing guy…you’re smart, you’re honest, you have a good head on your shoulders, you’re so good to everybody, such a hard worker…”; my friends, to quote former WWF wrestler Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson “IT. DOESN’T. MATTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!” We’re not dealing with people on a frequency that actually practices any of the platitudes they preach, and is genuinely pushing for betterment; we’re talking about people who deep down are so miserably insecure, and so unhappy with themselves, to see someone who is breaking all the “unspoken” rules of society (as they know it), and actually going somewhere with it….simply isn’t done. That person is completely resented, even if they know logically and consciously that they’re good people. If you want proof, watch the BBC “Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy” miniseries, or even check out a video on Youtube about “Plato’s Cave”. They have to tear down what they don’t understand, and what “makes them feel small”, rather than facing what does to find their own genuine happiness.

Now….am I saying that it was a mistake to end my relationship with Jeanette, and I’m gonna look back and keep asking “what could’ve been?” Hell to the no. She was indeed doing all the things I was informed of, and even if she did go after me, and–IMO–everyone was trying to manipulatively suggest to her to push me away, everyone has choices in life, and by going along with her “marching orders”, she proved to be that “no good” for me right off the bat. I got out of it what I was meant to get out of it, and clearly from my realizations recently, I’m always finding more new gems in that well. Now, if Mrs. Right comes into my life, and people try to pull that shit, well….there’s a reason she’d be Mrs. Right: she can handle that shit, and properly.

I’d like to conclude this entry by pointing out something I brought up in the original entry, that I even stated in the original Facebook post this was based on:

At the time I stated “right now, nobody is any good for me. Some might be better than others, but….”; well, as I learned last week–upon talking to Gina, “some might be better than others” 100% does not constitute “cutting it”. Gina is a decent person, but apparently I discovered in many ways she’s as weak-willed as Jeanette was, so when ever anyone presents the option of “settling”, when I say you’re doing just that…you are. If people aren’t right for you, they’re not right for you, even if God has sent them your way to provide valuable input to you in some way, shape, or form. They’re good in relation to the input they were sent to deliver, but they’re not what you want, and they’re not intended to be. Gina is an ok person, but would have likely been no better for me than Jeanette, just in different ways. I even tried hitting up Yanna to tell her what happened regarding the text, and never heard back, even after she recently posted some pictures on Instagram of “her new boyfriend, who’s totally the right one, this time”.

I’d also likely to briefly mention that just before I posted this entry, I received a response to a post I made about Scott “Toyguru/Scooter” Neitlich on Facebook–about how San Diego Comic Con doesn’t excite me the way it used to–to which the person who responded gave the “well yeah, we’re older now, we’ve matured, and are more interested in other things” speech….which I hate to tell you is not actual gained maturity, but simply gaslighting and masking that immaturity with more of the “performance art”. My point is……this is what you’re up against, with the folks on the lower frequencies; even if you are the best guy or gal in the world, such a low frequency can’t truly appreciate what’s being offered as you ascend, and will simply respond–until they ascend on their own–with what little the 3D frequency has to offer.

As stated before, there is no working with said lower frequency; it isn’t designed to work toward a better goal, but to simply drag you into the mud with it. Understand, moving forward, these unwritten rules of that frequency, and that there truly is no genuine “moving up” in the matrix system, but do it on your own terms, and you’ll find what you’re really looking for 🙂

A Day In the Life

I know….I know: you were expecting from the way the last entry ended this would be up just the day after; honestly….I needed more time to think on this, to figure out exactly how to put it into the proper wording so it would resonate best for you folks, and honest to God, I hope I’ve managed to do that…..I kinda had a mental “cram” session yesterday, and I jotted a lot down, cause I didn’t want to leave you hanging; incidentally enough, I decided to check my stats last night and…..holy shit I think my hits hit a new record yesterday. I adore you people, seriously! Also found a few links I had to update, so that was fun. Before I continue, I wanted to share that–as per the recommendation of one of the podcasts I listen to–I just tried cilantro for the very first time, and it will also be my very last time, cause I did not care for the taste at all; now the guinea pigs have an extra snack; I’ll stick with my juice, canned soup with veggies, and lettuce/dressing instead.

So, believe it or not, this entry is actually inspired by a chat I had with a Patriot buddy of mine, I confess the entire contents of which I do not entirely recall….but likely heavily involving all the trashing our community takes, in which so many folks seem to think Autism is some disability that’s caused by heavy metals or other shit, as stated in the last entry, and elaborated on throughout the entries here. One big one I’ve been hearing a lot is concern over the kids being non-verbal, and……I’ve covered that as well to some degree here and here (the first one I haven’t even touched upon in ages honestly, so…there ya go!). All the same, I thought I’d give you folks an idea of what my daily life tends to be like, and what I can elaborate on how I experience it…..and maybe it’ll help resonate for you with your kids, or partner, or coworkers, or whatever; not saying the experience will be exact….no one’s experience is the same, that’s why it’s called a spectrum. Without further ado, let’s get to it, shall we?

First and foremost, before I even wake up, I’ve usually written down the bulk of what needs to get done on any particular day in a notepad I keep with me, at all times, because I know it needs to get done, but there’s a good chance I may forget, with all I have to navigate, otherwise; I’ve also usually written it down several days in advance. It’s here I’d like to bring up something I confess I’ve never fully touched on, but was kinda-sorta planning to earlier, anyways…

You may recall in the movie Rain Man that Raymond insisted on a very strict schedule–even after Charlie takes him from the institution–in regards to when he eats, what he eats, what he watches, when he watches it, when he sleeps, etc. Well dear friends, let me try to explain this one for the Normies, as well as all you Autistic brothers and sisters who’d also like to know why I believe we do it:

As covered time and time again, but going all the way back to this entry (incidentally starting out, talking about Rain Man), and the entire reason we have to play mental chess to navigate everything, our minds are always taking in everything around us at all times. There are two ways we go about playing that “chess” to keep sane; first, we focus on our main task at hand (and that will be important as I continue with this entry), but second of all, this is where our rituals come in (and likely expect me to return to this topic in the future); our rituals are what keep us “grounded” so to speak, and losing ourselves in the fray; a sense of familiarity–like a map/compass of sorts–so that we’re able to keep our wits about us thru the “storm” of all the information we’re taking in. Lest we forget……it’s not like we have a lot of nurturing or support in all of this….you know, outside of being brow-beaten and bread-crumbed to death for “doing it wrong”, or in the latter case by people who just “put up” with us; we’re doing the work of a few people all by ourselves at any given time. Most people would burn out almost instantly from that; our brains are designed to do it, but to do it as efficiently as possible, we have to find a strategy for it. That can take time, but it’s why we have to plan out as much as possible ahead of time (and also likely why we don’t like major last-minute plan changes/things like that).

So now that I got that out of the way, let’s actually begin the day, shall we?

So on a day where I have to do shopping before I head to work, I get up shortly before 9 AM, wind my pocket watch (that I have yet to actually take anywhere with me, cause of how crazy things have been at work, and I don’t want it to break like the other two) head into the shower, and likely in lathering up and all that, do what a lot of folks would consider OCD in my methods….I just view it more as stimming really (like I said, I still do it, just not the way I did it as a kid; it’s taken on a different form, essentially); I’m essentially waking up, and trying to mentally process all that has to be done, and between the time I’m in the shower til the time I gotta get home to feed my guinea pigs their first meal of the day. I get out of the shower, sit on my bed for a while to dry off, and check my phone for any messages in my Facebook groups, see if I got any sales on eBay, various things really; I also of course watch my guinea pigs a little bit as well, during this period. Usually at half-past/quarter to 10, I start loading up my car with any shipments I have to take to the post office, along with my pop (because part of my routine to get my going is my pop….just like many of you drink coffee), my bag, then I say goodbye to the guinea pigs, tell them I love them, and head out to run my errands.

Before I continue here, I want to mention something that I wrote down in my log book that I’m gonna discuss further as this entry continues, and it’s a question you may or may not have for me, based on what I have already brought up: “what if you think of important things you need to write down while you’re in the process of doing the things that you wrote down that you needed to/part of your routine? What then?” That actually happened yesterday, and I’ll get to that in a bit.

So usually my errands go as follows: Post Office, Meijer, The Exchange, Aldi, then home. Every so often though, I’ll include something like getting gas, stopping by Storage, stopping by my Doctor’s office, stopping at the library, grabbing meds or groceries for my neighbor, the monthly Council meeting, a whole myriad of things, really. The one thing it all has in common is my minimal interaction with other people. I’m not saying I don’t do it at all, but for the most part, I only do it as much as I absolutely need to. If a former coworker at Meijer calls out to me or something, I’ll go up to ’em and chat a bit and whatnot, but one thing I have noticed a lot is that when someone pulls me away from my immediate priority focus to chat, I do feel some pings of anxiety….which can in many cases lead to my stomach getting upset. It’s happened even a few times around attractive gals, and not because I was nervous in their presence or anything; follow me here:

As already stated, I have a main focus that has to be attended to; if I’m suddenly pulled away from that to chat it up with some people, that’s time being taken away from my main focus, and it’s time that I don’t exactly know how to estimate the length of regarding the interaction. I know, I know….people will always say to me “awww it’s just 5 minutes, who cares?” People say a lot of things, and usually aren’t as dedicated and focused on accomplishing their tasks as we are/have other people to help them out. As stated in two of the entries linked above, you know we don’t. Shit gotta get done. I like to have groceries, food in the fridge for the guinea pigs, and a sense of accomplishment knowing that the laundry list of things that need to get done is out of my hair, so I can relax, and not have to do more strategizing about when and where to take care of it next, unless I absolutely have to. It may sound to you like I don’t like them, and don’t want to be bothered; this is not the case at all….I do like them, and appreciate the interaction, but it’s sort of a “categorical” situation, if that makes sense. Unless the chemistry flow is just that good, it’s sorta one of those “there’s a time and a place” situations for me, if that makes sense. Hell, you know how half the time when you “have to” deal with us, it’s like you’re taking a deep breath before plunging underwater? The majority of dealing with you is like that for us.

Incidentally enough, I enjoy doing it a bit more when I’m at the Exchange, because I’ve already completed the task of what’s “necessary immediately”, and can focus more on fun things; even though most of my socializing with the folks there is still mostly transactional, I do it a bit more at ease, joking around with them and whatnot, and I’ll even “prepare them for the challenge” of some out-there record or DVD titles I may be looking for; like I said, I like to keep that a little bit more fun, since it is about recreational territory, as opposed to necessities. Plus, they know me by name at this point, cause of how much I go in there. Would I regularly hang out with them? Probably not….they’re all about entertainment….which despite my new obsession with getting used records, those days are kinda behind me, for the most part.

I usually get home just slightly before, or around the time the guinea pigs need to be fed…..and up to a full hour/two ahead of time, they’re usually chirping like crazy for their food, so when I get home from errands, they mean business, and usually a few minutes to Noon is when I feed them every day; one thing I make sure not to do is play with them too much before feeding them, because their focus at that time is getting fed, nothing else. If I’m gonna pet them or anything, it’s usually gotta be before 10 AM, or they just go chirpin’ crazy.

As soon as I finish feeding them, I ready the grill for my food, take my medication, catch up on any messages on my phone (my phone utterly blows up while I’m out, but I have limited time to chat at that hour), and take care of anything else I think of at that immediate moment, including getting my snack I take to work ready, so I don’t forget it. After my food is finished, I bring it into my room, say my first prayer session of the day, eat, then relax a bit before washing the grill off, doing my daily blood pressure readings (I confess I only usually do this on days I head in to work, and at regular time), and play with my guinea pigs a little bit, queue up good stuff to listen to while on shift at work, check for the mail, and then shortly after 2 PM, get everything loaded in my car, say goodbye to my guinea pigs, and that I’ll see ’em when I get home, and head to shift.

Now, my shift starts at 4 PM, so you may be wondering what the hell I’m doing there “so early” and for so long? Well, I get changed into my work outfit, check my work email, and also do any other extracurricular things at my job that I believe need to be done; once all that’s done, I relax for a period in the breakroom, til my shift starts.

Now, as I head in at 4 PM, this is when most people are getting ready to head home, so as you can imagine, I do minimal interaction with most people there; I really like it that way. I do things at my own pace, without someone watching over me like a hawk; I can talk to myself out loud if I want to, listen to “controversial” podcasts (or whatever happens to tickle my fancy); basically, just like with running my errands, I have a routine/strategy down pat, for how it has to get done. Now here you may be wondering “what if there’s suddenly a change in your routine, at the last minute; like…you’re asked to do something, out of the blue?” Oh….that has happened, and usually what I’ll do in those situations is form a strategy to “cover my own ass” if other things don’t get done, or I’ll see to it that the extra aligns nicely with what I’m already doing. As I’ve been telling people repeatedly at my job (and we’re on different frequencies, as you know, so it’s not registering) “the people who finance this place–I used to deal with them all the time in NJ; they respond to two things: money and leverage, that’s it; no victim talk, or any bullshit like that”.

While we’re at it, let’s get to what happened yesterday, shall we?

Literally while I was filling up the mop bucket in my janitor’s closet, I suddenly remembered I had to email an eBay buyer, and I thought of more merch I wanted to check with the Exchange to see if they could get in. My hand is literally holding down the valve of the hose that’s spraying into my mop bucket….so I could just drop it and write it down…but I was already in the middle of filling it up, and didn’t want to stop for just that; again, a focus/priority thing….I want to get w hat needs to be done immediately….done immediately. So I made sure to rotate it in my head several times while finishing readying the mop bucket so that it would stay in there until I first finished filling it up, to write down what I wanted to inquire with the Exchange about, then when I got upstairs, after double-checking my work mail, I made sure to email the buyer on eBay; getting it all done, and giving me a sigh of relief that I accomplished everything I needed to; nothing that had to linger.

Now…you may be wondering here “why do you feel you need to be on top of it all like that? Can’t you let a few things slide? Lower your standards, a little bit?” For that question, I’d like to refer you to two separate entries I did, the first about low standards, and the other about how I believe most don’t believe they genuinely have much to offer, so they kinda put all their eggs in the basket of their “public persona”, if that makes sense. I enjoy that sense of relief, knowing I did; I sleep far better at night knowing it too…..and sleeping with ease is not something folks on the Spectrum are known for! Also, it goes back to the same thing with my focusing on my priorities while shopping as stated earlier: my mind is taking in so much all at once, all the time, that if I don’t remember what’s most important at any given time, it’ll get crowded out by 50 other sensory experiences; I even have to make sure I have a good song playing in my head all the time, or I get a shitty one in there too; I’m not making that up! The current selection happens to be “Boy” by the 1980s group Book of Love (who had a hit song via the movie Planes, Trains, and Automobiles).

One thing I want to comment about being on shift that I love is that doing it later on in the day when everyone has already left, and at my own pace, gives me that opportunity to remember to write things down etc at my own disposal, at any real point in the night. If you’re in the middle of talking directly with clients/schmoozing, performing on stage, or at a register, or on a factory line, flying a plane, operating other heavy machinery, you don’t really have the opportunity to do that; my position at my employer–along with my shift– gives me exactly that. They trust me to do it at my own pace, and I’m able to get it done as such, and can jot important things down–including notes for entries for here–while I’m at it.

For those wondering, before I continue this entry, I am gonna dive further into my belief about why so many Autistics are non-verbal for a period at a later date, and hopefully better explain how it feels interacting with folks on different frequencies in time, as well; like….devote a full entry to it that’s not specifically in a miniseries, or something like that…unless it just works best there.

As my night concludes at work, I empty out my mop bucket, and bucket with my rags/wipes, load up more supplies for the next day/write down whatever I’m low on to stock up on during my next shift, then head to the break room and relax until it’s time to clock out. Usually when I’m in there, I chat a little bit with the folks in there. Only a few of the folks in there–while I get along with all of them–seem to have anywhere near of an understanding of what I’m bringing to the table with them, so I really only have good, fruitful conversations with a few; the others I basically make small talk with, and at least attempt to open the door for something bigger, to see if I hit a wall, or if there is indeed more we can do with our discussion; one reason I love doing it with third shift is that it’s when I’m mentally awake, and being they’re on later shift too, they at least resonate with me on that level, so that already gives us an advantage that the 9-5ers won’t really have.

After clocking out, I head home, head upstairs, put down my bag and whatever else, wash my hands, give the guinea pigs their nightly hay feeding, take my final round of meds, eat a snack, then relax in some way; either I just sit on my bed and watch some videos on Youtube/listen to music, or if I can get up later the next day, I might go on my computer, and do some blog/vlog promotion, post a social media status, place an online order for something….a variety of things, really. Usually between 1:30 AM to 3, the guinea pigs are in a period of “going back and forth” between chilling for a few minutes, and grabbing some more hay, and that’s when I get more petting in, as necessary.

Lately between 2:30-3:30 as of late is when I’ve been heading to bed, so from there, I floss, brush my teeth (usually involving more stimming, as I semi-have a pattern, with how I do it), turn my phone off, and plug it in to charge, set my alarm to whatever time I need to get up the next day, do my nightly prayer session, wish my guinea pigs good night, and go to bed.

I apologize if you were hoping this would be ten times more exciting than it wound up being, but I hoped I’ve helped answer some questions…..possibly even helping our other Autistic friends understand better about themselves in the process. I promise to dive into all of this more at later dates.

Right now…..I’m still trying to figure out how to continue a potential multi-parter I’m considering, and also……expecting some entries I’ve had planned since the beginning/middle of last year to finally be able to posted, and likely very soon.

Have fun, kids!

Being Boring: Why the Caged Bird Sings

Your eyes do not deceive you…..I am referencing a Maya Angelou book in part, in the title (the other part is a reference to a Pet Shop Boys song, both of which I will get to); now, the book as I understand has very heavy themes to it, including terrible, terrible experiences she endured as a child, and you may be asking yourself “you went there, Russell? Seriously? You’re gonna claim your childhood is similar to the shit that Maya Angelou went thru?” To which I respond the answer is no, but lest we forgot I’m not the only Autistic guy out there either, and if even some reports I heard yesterday in news headlines are any indication, it may not be all that far from the truth; we’ve got a lot to dig into here, so let’s get to it, shall we?

Let me start this off by bringing up–and I did bring this up throughout social media–that the narrative of “things that cause Autism” (to which even the “Tin Foil Hat” community is buying into) now includes heavy metals, fluoride, weather conditions, vaccines, and Tylenol; before I even get into all my criticisms about it, and where it’s going, I must comment…..the only time to my recollection Tylenol has ever worked for a damn was in Chicago in 1983, when it got laced with rat poison; yeah, I went there, what’cha gonna do about it? Now, in regard to all the things that “cause” Autism…..so at this point, what doesn’t cause it? I mean….with every single everyday household item causing Autism, you’d think it’d be the norm in society, and not the exception, right? As stated in one of the entries linked above, for most of these cases, they’re looking at characteristics associated with Autism, without knowing a damn thing about why those associations exist to begin with….and more because they’re concerned about “normalcy“, not to genuinely understand “The Terrible Condition/Illness That Is Autism”. If you’re honestly wondering, that last part was entirely meant as sarcasm.

Now that I’ve put that out there, let me make like one of the many Lego instruction manuals I’ve been privy to recently, and bring up what may seem like a totally unrelated topic that I assure you will not be unrelated in any conceivable way, shape, or form….

I’ve brought up Red-Pill Dating guru Alexander Grace before, and how he did a video on High Quality People Vs Low Quality People; well, I recently stumbled upon a video he did, where he was talking about a TikTok video he found, where a gal stated that she dates just to date for the hell of it, but never seems to find the stimulation she needs with any guy she goes out with; Alexander Grace quickly jumped into “if you always have to say you’re bored, and want others to entertain you, then you’re the one that’s boring”. Well…….while I see where he’s coming from, there are actually certain aspects of this I actually must completely disagree with, and you’ll see very soon how this all connects with how I started this off; follow me here, we’re about to get juicy!

First off, yes….many people in this world I find fucking dull beyond any conceivable belief; many of them insist they have “all that and a bag o’ chips” to offer, and if they do…they sure as hell ain’t putting it forward…much like I stated about incidentally in this entry here, also talking about some TikTok videos brought up on Red Pill channels. Most of those people do simply just want constant stimulation from other people, rather than offering anything on their own terms…..but then there’s another category to this….and that category involves our new favorite topic here, frequency. Basically, I believe the 3D frequency is boring as shit, but as stated in the linked entries, it was never designed for me, or most folks on the Spectrum anyway. Essentially, if we found ourselves getting bored as kids, it wasn’t because we ourselves were boring, but we found the constraints of the offerings of the 3D matrix reality that we knew to be exactly that, and as stated in the entries linked above, most around us had simply come to accept and work with the offerings that said matrix well….offered, and by folks who were too tired or clueless to really consider anything beyond it, or even know what to offer us in the process; it’s part of why nurturing seemed so miserably limited, if even of any real nature to it at all.

Seriously, think of what most of those gals whining on TikTok–stated in the Red Pill videos–seem to want: a big muscular guy with millions to spend on them, to take them anywhere on the map; ok, then what? The point is…..it’s a very, very limited spectrum of offerings, and as stated in this entry–much like the conventional way of life–it’s very common for most people to become very disillusioned with it, and join a cult…….which actually offers more of the same, but hey….welcome to the matrix prison. It’s either that, or going into “uncharted territory”…..and that’s a very important aspect of where this is about to head….

One thing you often hear on the lower frequencies–and pushed like mad in our culture–is “making it” in the big city; and part of the lifestyle is having a lot of friends, getting invited to a lot of parties (which is also part of everything I’ve already described), and yes….for so many it feels so shallow and so empty, but part of the reason this is done is to drown out and “escape” that feeling that something isn’t right; to hear theirselves think…the thought of it utterly terrifies them, because they’re in a society that will crucify them if anything goes against the groupthink….and the absolute last thing they would want is to be thrown into uncharted territory, where they’d have to fend for theirselves. You and I deal with this daily, and we find it very freeing, and character-building; they don’t.

The thing is……I’ve been doing this blog for two years and 7 months now; you already know all of this; so why the hell am I bringing it all back to the table yet again, and bringing up the Maya Angelou reference, you may be wondering? Let’s get into that, and how it fits in with what I brought up about “all the things that cause Autism”, shall we?

Every so often, I chat with former classmates on Instagram and Facebook, and we tend to do retrospectives on the experiences we’ve had in our childhood years, when we knew each other. One of them, who I brought up here, even acknowledged that our surroundings in the town we grew up in–and heavily in our school system–borderline treated me like complete shit; it wasn’t uncommon to hear everyone say that I was “just so weird”, and even later on, even hearing people suggest I was on drugs or something, cause of how weird they took me for…interesting, seeing as half of ’em were getting high on a daily basis, but that’s neither here nor there…..

When you’re still a kid, you’re in “beta testing” mode, as it were; you’re still trying to figure out how your personality and likes and interests can work to your benefit in some way; figuring out what works and what doesn’t, why you do what you do, all that jazz. The thing is…..most folks who prefer the lower frequencies are taught and pressured to conform to a lock-step mentality……I’ve brought this mentality up before, and several entries I’ve linked to above elaborate further on it; well, the thing is, as a result…..it’s less “beta testing” for them, and more of “beta testing so we can find out which sub-group to place them in, for the next phase of the matrix system”. In other words, it’s wanting to people to find their calling within the limited framework, and that’s it. Hell, whenever you hear them say “try new things”, what they mean is “try new things within the boundaries of what’s socially acceptable”, staying within that limited framework.

The reason all the other kids and parents found me so “weird” was because….I’ve been defying that frame work from Day 1. Everything about how I come off to everyone goes completely against it, and here’s where we’re going to take that up a few notches:

Rollo Tomassi recently did a bit on Gary Vaynerchuk, and how he’s divorcing his wife of several decades; his wife essentially “bet on his future”, as it were. People who choose their spouse have to be able to look at their choice and say “ok, I see this or that possibility from them, so I’ll take the chance that it will work out to our benefit”. Well, the thing is……when you’re on the Spectrum, because we don’t fit into that framework in almost any socially-accepted way, the folks on the lower frequency do not have any idea how to properly nurture us to our full capability, and in the process, the others around us are also too scared to approach us and “bet on our future” because the only future they understand is what is deemed “socially acceptable”. Not saying they like it, but it goes back to the concept of chancing what’s above their comprehension; risking fending for theirselves in uncharted territory for a potentially greater payoff….if they even understand that payoff.

I see how people react to me all the time, whenever I talk: their eyes glaze over, or they get very big and wide as they nod, but they don’t get big and wide in excitement, but terror. I’d almost describe it like listening to a 5-hour discussion on philosophy by Brain Gremlin, from the 2nd movie. I remember getting so excited with the acclaim that my superiors at work gave me, a few years back, that I shared with them the idea of my very first Philosophy Corner entry, before it ever became a segment on here; they had this look on their face the whole time like “what the hell was that?”. What do they resonate better with instead? Posting pictures of themselves on Facebook, and fishing for compliments.

Another big kicker is….not only was I defying that framework from very early on, but as anyone in beta-testing mode, who can’t get any good answers from anyone else, I didn’t understand why I was doing it then, either! No I didn’t know why balloons and fireworks were too damn loud for me, or why I was stimming constantly, why I was so anxiety -ridden, why I was so fascinated by certain objects, so constantly hyper, or why I understand things in ways others didn’t, and would challenge them as openly as I did, not understanding why it “wasn’t proper socially etiquette”; how could I know? The problem was, neither did anyone else, and when those guiding us have no answers, that’s when people really start keeping their distance, and the only answer our older counterparts gave to their impressionable young’uns was “he’s weeeeeeird”.

So let us now bring this back to how this entry began, shall we? “Circle back”, as a former White House Press Secretary is best known for saying? 😉

So they see these kids they think are weird, don’t understand why, and it’s going against the accepted societal norms; the norms that have been bashed over their heads for over a century to accept, and not question for even a second…..lest they’re left to fend for theirselves in the uncharted unknown. What do you think is easier for the masses to do:

Say “my kid is different, but there may be something to that being different, and I’d like to explore it, even if I don’t fully understand it, so he/she can thrive to her full potential, and enjoy everything life has to offer on her own terms…maybe even show me a few things I’d love; experience the world in a totally different way!”

or 2. Blame their kid not being “normal” on other pharmaceutical toxins that–while admittedly are dangerous, and should not be taken in–have absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with a mental difference that they’re designed to not even understand at all, and in the process hurt their kids’ health even more just for the chance they can live that “normal” (read: unfulfilling) life…..but one the parents will “understand”?

Starting to make a lot more sense now? Just remember that blaming all these things on Autism actually causes another problem with the argument, worth noting:

Why are all these toxins only affecting certain people? No matter how you slice it, the argument for external factors affecting normalcy never really works, but I do hope I’ve helped you understand why people are going for it, and “where” the problems seem to rear their head….and the likely causes of them, based on observed human behavior.

You know what I’d like to discuss, as a result, next time?

How would you like to hear what the day in the life of someone on a different frequency is? How we experience life, what our interactions are like, and all that, and what we’re thinking, in the process?

Yes…..that’s exactly what we’ll do next! See you soon!

Reverse Bubble Tape

Last night, a buddy of mine sent me a video on Youtube about “the 144,000 Starseeds”…..and if you want to know more about the connection between Autism and starseeds, I posted a link to a video on Youtube about it via Instagram, Twitter, TikTok, Truth Social, and most of the others….brings up the Archangel Michael. Anyway, the video I watched first explained a bit more about the Starseed, the Tribes of Israel, and the particular entry I was shown did a feature on George Lucas. Before I continue here, I’d like to openly acknowledge that I still only understand the concept of Starseeds, frequencies, and vibrations to a point, and will not pretend I’m suddenly some expert that I’m not…..but I will try to help you folks understand the connection of all of it with the Spectrum as best I can.

So, in the video, it was explained that George Lucas became one of the Starseeds (like I said, I still don’t fully understand everything), following an automotive accident, which prompted him to attend a university where he started studying film, and apparently the movies he’s best known for (Howard the Duck, Red Tails, Willow; I kid) are actually important information to those who were pulled in by it necessary for the Great Awakening now in the process of being experienced. You may then wonder “what’s the deal” with why I’ve openly stated I never really saw the appeal of the Star Wars movies, then, if they’re so key to all of this? Well, take a look at the title of this entry; what was the tag line for Bubble Tape, when the commercials first aired in the late ’80s?

“For YOU! Not them!”

Consider my recent entry about how many aspects of pop culture I’ve never resonated with; now, you’d think that if George Lucas’s Star Wars movies (according to the video, the initial trilogy) had “messages” in it intended to resonate with those who were pulled in by it for The Great Awakening, I’d be a shoe-in, almost magnetically, correct? Well…..not exactly. As I conclude, the entire reason it didn’t resonate for me, and many aspects of accepted culture don’t resonate with our brothers and sisters on the Spectrum is because they weren’t tailored for us, and that’s because the “Starseed” information they may contain, we already have. Basically, it’s meant to resonate on the lower frequencies for those of the populous who will wake up for “the next step”, not those of us who are already on the 5D frequency, that don’t need the information to get there, if that makes sense.

That being said, Happy Fourth of July to my fellow Autistic (and non-Autistic) Americans, and I hope to have some more vlogs up shortly as well……including something I realized about our gastro-intestinal issues, which I just figured out 😉

It Really Is Cathartic…..

Had a few ideas for blog entries this weekend, but….you know what? I decided just to take some me time, and relax a little bit, and you know why? Aside from the fact that I totally deserve it, cause I work my ass off day in and day out, including with mental gymnastics to get everything done, I have a funny story to share with you all…..

Earlier this week, I was in a meeting at work, and one of our coworkers started complaining about how he feels the morale is with the crew at our employer, to our higher-ups; I tried to remind him that this is literally everywhere, right now, with staffing shortages, and a looming major economic recession on the horizon. I also tried explaining to him that I know the people that our higher-ups answer to, as I used to deal with them all the time, living in NJ….and I know that they only respond to money and leverage, nothing else. So if you’re complaining or implying victimhood of any sort, door is right over there; they don’t care. I won’t lie, during the meeting I got a bit….”energized” over it, as I do, but it is what it is; at the time, I was also tired and had a really bad headache. Well, my coworker didn’t seem to care, and just kept wailing on our higher-ups, and everyone left the meeting, from this, with a deflated morale.

Later that night, as my shift was ending, he happened to be there, and we tried hashing it out, and working again thru what had happened earlier. My headache was gone this time, and I tried to better elaborate my position in the process, including citing someone at our employer who’d recently left because he had performed unnecessary surgery in another state, was getting sued there, and it was in our local newspaper; I used this example to explain to him what people who rise up to “the people the higher-ups answer to” expect, if you want to see a “good life” as we’ve been conditioned for; the shady shit they gotta endure to look all glamorous to the public, as it were. Much as before, he didn’t care. He essentially responded that he didn’t care if it was happening all over the place, and what our higher-ups were put thru, he wanted it fixed here, and that’s it. Yes, some alterations with extra pay are happening….because those above our higher-ups are fully aware of the looming recession, and when layoffs happen, they know people will do it for less money; the entire economy as we’ve known it is designed this way, as stated in an entry linked above.

This time however, not only was he joined in by another coworker who was just as vocal “against” me, but I responded to it differently; I cusped my hands, sat my head on it, half-smiled, and simply nodded to him, and let him talk. It was painfully obvious to me I was not gonna get thru at all, my coworkers clearly are not chess players in any way, and to simply let them vent. When he finished contradicting himself several times, with a lot of emotional argument–of course–thrown in, I simply responded “ok. You folks have a good night, now”, as it was time for me to leave, anyway. As I left work that night, got home, made myself a snack, and fed my guinea pigs….a wave of peace engulfed me, honestly.

I realized that this experience was a test from God; it was a not a test for them, but for me. They were not meant to get anything whatsoever out of the experience; they weren’t going to listen. They’re not on the frequency, and I don’t think–at least at this time–they either understand the concept, or even care to ascend in any way. I got the impression that they’re perfectly comfortable with how things are, they just want their own “interests” catered to a little more, and that’s it…..and I’m gonna get more into that topic hopefully very soon. Yes folks, that’s right….I don’t believe a terrible economy, shortages, or any of that actually bother any of them….in fact, I no longer believe they ever really did. All the times I would hear complaints about it growing up….were for the sake of complaining, to sound important to everyone else, but not to actually accomplish anything. But…..there’s another reason I’m bringing all of this up….

I know you’ve heard about the Supreme Court ruling…it’s all over the place, there are already riots going on over it, and of course it’s filling up my Facebook feed like a motherfucker. This is why I was being tested….to prepare me for this going down. No I will not give you my views on the issue, as that’s not important here; if you want to know what I think, I have a video on Tiktok/IG summing it up, and I’ve posted a considerable amount on Truth Social and Twitter about it as well.

However, you will not see me say a damn thing about it on Facebook (ok fine, I did when the leak happened…) Last night, I actually went thru my Facebook feed, didn’t say a peep, and just observed my feed. All anyone was doing was repeating what they heard from the news networks, and that was it; none of them actually knew a goddamn thing about the actual ruling, the body of laws that the initial 1920s ban was extended to, what it happens to mean, or anything, and you know what? Just like my coworkers earlier this week, they don’t care either, cause the media has never mentioned any of it, or told them to. Let me tell you folks something……it’s situations like that which provide you with so much clarity about people, and where priorities really are. Several months back, I did this blog entry third-parter, talking about why Normies seem to view us as so emotionless, and how most of ’em as far as I’m concerned aren’t truly invested in anything they’re talking about, it’s just something they say to sound important–platitudes, if you will–as stated above.

Lemme tell you something, my fellow Autistic brothers and sisters; here’s another reason most social and romantic involvements don’t work out for you:

I don’t care where you stand on Roe V Wade or anything else honestly…… do you at least stand on what you say with genuine conviction, or are you just following the crowd to sound important? Well, most of the people you’re gonna meet in life thus far have been in the latter category, they’re perfectly content on the clusterfuck that is the 3D frequency, and they really don’t care to solve any of these problems, or make them better, as things currently stand. My recommendation to you is–as usual–focusing on becoming your best self, learning to weed thru all the bullshit, see the chess board with the clarity necessary to understand who’s really with you and who’s not, and don’t let all the phonies drag you down with ’em. Think of everything Tesla and Mozart accomplished in life that the Normies didn’t even fully grasp; yes, that’s what you’re capable of, in your own way.

Find the path that’s right for you, with that advanced mental capability, plow ahead, and do as God meant you to so you do make the world a better place. Those who would criticize you are intimidated by the thought of a genuinely better world, and just like being able to complain about things that they’re perfectly fine with….things we all know are embarrassingly low standards.

In conclusion, first of all if you disagree with anything that’s being said on Facebook this weekend, in any capacity….just don’t bother saying anything; it’s coming from a place of emotion entirely, and to parrot the media, nothing more. Second of all, stay safe, do some of your own mental strategy that you do so well, meditate if you think you need to, and I’ll see you back here real soon, with some new stuff I recently came up with.

Talk to you soon! 🙂

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